I was going to spend the day in bed eating McDonald's and masturbating. Then a friend reminded me this morning, I have a 5k to run today!! FUCK, I just at like 6 biscuits and a bunch of fucking coffee.
I wouldn't bother but she's there waiting for me. I'm running it with my dog. I've been telling the mutt for a month that we would do this. NO I'm not crazy, he doesn't understand English but he understands that something big was coming. So I have to go do this.
Hopefully this doesn't turn out like that time I shit my pants while I was lifting weights. Yeah, that's what I said. I just might tell you about it.
Wish me luck!!
Eating McDonald's and masturbating...there's a Filet o' Fish joke somewhere in there, but I can't quite put my finger on it. Apparently you can, though. Wokka wokka wokka!
ReplyDeleteHAHA!
DeleteI like your first idea better. But then again I really like french fries.
ReplyDeleteMcDonald's is so gross but I love it. Once a month I treat myself to it.
DeleteOnce a month eh? I think this is code for something but I can't crack it.
ReplyDelete*Blushes*
DeleteUsually I make people blush. Just Friday I made my boss turn the same shade of red as my Chuck Taylors with my comment about his dick and my tits.
Did I miss you telling us about your comment about his dick and your tits? Or did you just tease there without telling us? If so, what was the comment.
DeleteThis is clearly a double standard. If a guy worked for a woman, and he made a joke about his boss's tits and his dick, he'd be fired in a nano-second.
It is a double standard!! It's the least bit if fun I can have if I will be ever discriminated against since I have tits.
Delete"eating McDonald's and masturbating"
ReplyDeleteOh, so THAT'S what they mean by a "Happy Meal"!