The Scoop

Earlier today Josie posted some hilarious cliff notes  about me and old Grrouchie's mostly comical relationship. In which she brought up a good point, I talk a lot of shit and he might not appreciate it. Tough titties, baby! It's funny. For the most part we are kidding.

I won't be getting into the details of our relationship because our break up was less than a year ago. I'm totally still in love with him and I don't like to be vulnerable. Sometimes most times I say some crazy shit, that normal people would shake their heads at. If the old Grouch was normal he would take offense but big BUT (unlike Josie's surely cute little one that I'm excited to see) he's not normal. He doesn't  usually take offense to what I say.

That's as ethnic a nose as I ever saw!

Even if he did, he LOVES to say inflammatory things! So what's good for the goose is good for the gander. Don't believe me that he's just as obsence? Just yesterday, during dinner I made some dumb remark that could have been heard in a movie like Friday. So he says, "What are you black? Well at least one part of you is." Firstly let me say, he is NOT racist just RUDE. I have what I like to call an ethnic nose. My bitch ass older brothers who liked to torture me, called it a "nigger nose." RUDE!! Sometime through the years it came up and he loves to use it against me (jerk). It's almost fun to see what dumb ass random rudeness will come out of his mouth.

Here's a quick glimpse into his Rolodex of rude.

Firstly he grossly missuses the word "rape" as in " I got raped in that Strat game." Keep in mind that I know rape victims. It's offensive beyond fucking belief to take someone's most traumatic experience and turning it into an adjective. This is probably just me being sensitive but still.

His nose is just as ethnic

This one is awesome. After a heinous trip to the dentist he decided to one day have all his teeth pulled and replaced with dentures. Somehow, HIS Mom came into the conversation. HE brought up the idea of being "gummed" by his MOM!! Then he simulated thrusting !! GAG

One last one because I could spend a week doing this. 


This gem is especially funny, to you! One night after sex, we are lying in bed lovingly holding each other and looking into each other's eyes. Talking about our future and my dearest says, "Your feet smell." After properly smacking him I shout, GOD DAMN IT! NO THEY DON'T!! "Okay, then it must be your vagina! BAWHAHA" Yup, that was his idea of a joke. What a social retard!

This has often caused friction between us. Now that we are now longer in a romantic relationship, the sting of each other's words has lessened. We are both being more ourselves and getting along better. Whenever we get to see each other we enjoy it. Before we dated we were friends, it's been nice recapturing that.

Weapon # 2 and 3

Oh, yeah and the sex. Mostly I joke about it ,there's no joking here, it's mind blowing. We just have chemistry. So much that he would lay (I'm the girl in #10) aside his morals for a romp in the sack with yours truly.

For a long time our relationship was just about sex, then this fool went and fell in love with me! After our split, we or at least I , but probably we, really hated each other's guts but we continued to have HOT sex. I know what you're thinking, it's a bad idea, don't do it, stop. Sound advice if I were less primal but I don't think with my head. I think with my cunt. He's defiantly better at using his brain. He's tried to resist but I have three weapons...that and those.

Weapon # 1

My point, we have a long fucked up history.  We are both hurt, sometimes sad. We're trying to repair our lives and move on. Hopefully not lose anymore money, sleep and faith. We care about each other so all this shit talking is in good fun.

Damn I'm cute! What happened to him? JK

Sergyballs, if I make you mad with what I say, my bad. 
You knowwww I lovvve you!!  
Remember you have a full arsenal to! Two words, cum, bestiality :) 

Waffles, you dirty bastard this for you. Yeah, I know what you like