Going to California, not on a big jet plane

I'm tired. Really really tired. Between work and school I have little desire or energy for anything else. To treat myself to something fabulous for the hard work I'm going to California not once but twice next month.

June 8th at the Echo in LA, JD Mcpherson will be playing what I expect to be a fantastic show. Imagine Elvis, Buddy Holly and Fats Domino all wrapped into one cool dude from Oklahoma. I can hardly wait!
A friend invited me to Six Flags the last week of June. I've never been there or Disneyland, I'll be able to check one off the bucket list.
Before my get up and go leaves me for the night, I'm taking the mutt for his well deserved walk. Poor thing has been neglected lately. On the brightside if ever there was a need to re-home him, I have found two suitable families.
Life rocks :)

My friends are jerks

My jerk face friends are constantly texting me at stupid hours of the day. It pisses me off when I get a text at 12am, 1am or 2am.

Last night someone sent me half naked pictures of himself at 12:46am. Someone else text me about a relationship issue at 12:30am. Then again at 1am. Today I get random text messages at 12:07 am. Seriously friends, don't text me between 9pm and 2am, I'm sleeping! Ugh.

3am

It's said that nothing good ever happens after 2am. Let's hope that's true. I just woke up from my nap this afternoon. Just got out of the shower. I'm suiting up then heading out. I'm up to no good. Catch ya later jive turkeys.

Troy Serge Espinosa

I'm in love with my dog. He has a Facebook page a Twitter account and has quite the following on Instagram. He's a marvelous creature. Full of joy, love energy endless play. If you don't have a furry love in you life you haven't yet lived.
This photo is for Lightning.

Can't make this shit up

Well maybe you can but this following story is true.

There's a woman at my work who's a total MILF, personally I would never fuck her because I can't stand her attitude let's call her Tiffany. She's one of those delicate princesses who need to be taken care if and catered to. Well a bog fat raspberry to you lady. Anyway.

If by accident eye contact is made we will say hello or in my case I'll have smile and twitch in her direction. We rarely or maybe never socialize.

It just happens that work had a Lu'au with food, games, water balloon fights, prizes it was awesome. We took lunch at the same time to enjoy the festivities. We sat at the same table and chatted it was surprisingly nice. After lunch she wandered into my office to shot the breeze some more. Wanting to stay on the good note we hit earlier I obliged.

She mentioned that she has an appointment to get a cat scan on her abdomen tomorrow because she has a terrible pain. She told me the word her doctor used to descrie it. It was long scary and started with a D. She said something else about constant discomfort, cancer and not being able to enjoy sex. What the what?! Now I'm litsening.

She went on about not being able to enjoy sexy time with her husband because of the pain. She's concerned about his sexual needs! She has no qualms about being sex-less for forever but she is willing to let him have his piece!

She really has thought this open marriage shit through because she says she is going to have to pick the girl and she will have to be there...in the room during the act. According to her, being there as a supervisor there will be less if a likelihood for feelings to arise! Haha, I imagine her sitting in the corner with her sudoku, drinking her chai tea wearing her black glasses tsk tsking if there's to much eye contact or foreplay.

Maybe this was her subtle way of asking me to be his fun dumpster? I've seen this dude, he's hot, no strings attached sex, yes please!

* I forgot to mention, she walked into the office a few minutes later unpromted ran her fingers through my hair while commenting how soft and beautiful it was

El Menudazo and things

The time has finally come Menudazo will be opening in Saturday.The whole familywill be there doing their part. My photographer friend has agreed to come photograph the occasion. Hopefully I can pull it together and surprise the family with a website soon! Waffles read your email.

This is being typed on my phone while sitting on the toilet becuase I am out of paper with nothing to do at the moment. I decided to use a rarely visited bathroom without first making sure there was paper. This shit right here is why I hate living alone. If the dog had been trained for more than sitting!


I took the the day off from work for mental health reasons. It had nothing at all to do with a certain fellow Blogger ex-fiance. Nope nothing at all. 
 
Before heading home to play  through Lego Star Wars I went to breakfast with a couple friends. The Boulder Station's Grand Cafe has a Foursquare special. Buy an entree get one of equal or lesser value free with check in. Awesome! The food one the other hand was not. Bonus one of my boos is a bus person there added bonus he was working. So I got to see him for a while.

Food is not good

First stupid act of the day. There was a man wearing an ugly faded sherbet orange tank top with some ghastly to tight to short, shorts. He was walking towards my table on his way out, all manners left for at that very momnet. I looked at my friend and exclaimed loudly enough for him to hear, " His tits are bigger than yours. Don't feel bad that says more about him than you." He must have heard because he shot us the stink eye. 

As if that weren't bad enough. My friend who's a bus person there brought me a bottle of Cholula to mask the  bad stale hash brown taste. Did I mention the food sucked? I should have sent it back. Well I stuck the bottle into my dog purse (I carry my dog in it) and was walking out to pay when my friend recalls me back so one of his co-workers could my dog. After sufficient oh'ing and ah'ing at Troy, I turned to leave and the God damn bottle falls out and rolls two feet behind me! Of course I picked it up, smiled at everyone and put it back into the dog purse. In my defense the food sucked. Also I left the server a $10 tip on a $19 check so zip it.

The above was written on Tuesday. It is nowThursday.

I'm just about to leave work. Hope you all are having fantastic hair days! I'm off to the movies.

Waffles

Waffles is cool dude you should all give him your money when you play poker.  That is all.

A real one soon

Scouts' honor a real post is coming soon. I have been preoccupied with Lego Star Wars and packing and life. Til then look see, the resturant is opening on Saturday! Hell to the yeah!
P.S.  I'm watching Indiana Jones, I sit like Al Bundy. Yup like that. Ask Grrouchie.
Oh oh and P.P.S. I have finally decided on the name of my blog. It finally came to me!

The new Mr. Carmel

Fuck yeah! I just met my new boyfriend! He's a fucking football player he makes me feel little! He's 6'5" he's barrel chested and holy shit soo cute. I'm in love ! That's all.

Work work work

Tom-Yum Soup. YUM

Why hello there! Remember me? I'm a busy little beaver. Between two jobs, education, friends, family and fucking I have no time. Boy oh boy I like it!

I'm being gross

Jealous Alan? HAHA

So in the last few weeks I have been to a few good restaurants that I want to tell you about first Bachi Burger. Went there with a special someone. Let's just say I got a prize with my meal in the bathroom :)Okay okay back to the food. What a unique interesting place. Burgers meet Asian flavors equals exciting! I highly recommend the Banh-Mi burger. If you're a fan of the sandwiches this is a must. We also sampled the Crusty Crab, delicious! This place is far far and away from the Strip so if you are interested plan accordingly.

The waitresses

In the recent weeks we also visited Anime Ramen. In a place like Las Vegas you really need to stand out this place does just that. The fare is nothing fancy Asian staples. Rmen, tom-yum, chow mein and the like. All well done but they won't knock your socks off. This place you' come for the atmosphere. The waitresses dress like Anime characters! The decor is right out of the Saturday morning cartoon line up. We tried several dishes. Seafood ramen, seafood tom-yum, a couple different sushi rolls including one that looked like Hello Kitty on purpose, what?! We also had the banana split and honey milk tea. The Split was served on one of those kids plates that's segmented so the food doesn't touch. Making it a true split, ha those cheeky bastards! It was very very fun to eat there. Looking forward to my next meal there. Waffles, baby I can hardly wait to take you there. You will repay me for dinner with sexual favors.

Work, rocks. I dig both my jobs. I love my co-workers. Yet I am actively looking into a government position that pays $1000 more a month. Everyone has a price guess mine is $1000.

School sucks. Taking a sociology course. Ugh, it is boorrringg but necessary. My ultimate goal is to become a counselor.

Cute and tasty 

Most of you, having been to Vegas during summer understands how ungodly hot it gets here (so take off all your clothes). The suffering of the homeless this time a year is unimaginable so I have started carrying bottles of water and power bars in my bar to hand out to those in need. Usually I carry zero cash but at least I offer then some water.

I strongly believe that we can all make a difference in someone's life no matter how small the kindness it matters. Go do something nice. Remember Josie and the kids on the bus? Small thing for her big deal for the kids! You never know who's life you might change.

Here's something stupid, I burned my bra. Not in the feminist statement making way or anything but instead. I dropped my cigarette! God damnit it was $60! One of my favorites to, leopard print...

I attended a Habit for Humanity build event. These people were actually building a house from the ground up! I tried to do my part. Since I had been out until 6am that morning I was doors up on Patron and painkillers (bad back) so I hindered more than helped.

Oh oh one more thing we threw a party for my friend's birthday.We all had mustaches we wore all night. Mine was reminiscent of Groucho Marx. I'd forgotten how much fun hanging out with potheads can be.

She'll be coming around the mountain when she comes

I've been busy! Haven't seen my house or slept in my bed since Thursday. Good thing I left the mutt with loads of food and water.

The plan was to give ya'll a run down of what I have been up to the last few weeks but my family has decided to take a trip to Mount Charleston for a hike and picnic so the update must wait. Monday I'll be working both jobs. Maybe Tuesday I'll do this proper.

I have been watching Netflix on my phone whenever the chance appears. There's a great show that's caught my attention, Being Human. The original British version that is. Everything word I wrote today was in am English accent! Booyah!

I got a hair cut. People have either liked it or thought I had a horrible accident with scissors.

Toodles!!

Taking one for the team.

Someone is crazy enough to entrust moi with their kids! Look see...This friend is also a HUGE Red Sox fan. Josie it's like an orgasm for your eyes!

One last thing later tonight I'm going to watch a live broadcast of This American Life. Oh, yeah!

Fatty Zumba

An old friend is hosting Body Positive Zumba aka fatty Zumba workouts at his house. He's a big fatty,drag queen, college professor, queer feminist. This event is for people of considerable size only. He wants to give other fatties a safe comfortable place where they can workout without feeling judged. He shouldn't have invited me. Two of my favorites pass times are dancing and making fun of people so I'm going! Bringing wine and cake to ;)

Taking a break

I'm really fucking irritated with everything so I'll be back in a week or so.

The next post will be about Hitler and Jews and Mexicans and why they all ruined my Sunday dinner. Well not really the Mexican ruined it but it was because of Hitler and the Jew took offense. Only my fucking family.

Post after that will be about poker, well actually a poker player.

I bought my dog ice cream. I think he got a brain freeze :-p

I talk like a white girl.

My Mom was born in Malpaso, Zacatecas. Her people have inhabited that part of Mexico for thousands of years. I remember she told me once that her family had lived in that town for hundreds of years. To this day I have Aunts and Uncles there.
My father is from Guadalajara. This grand city was first established in 1531 by the Spanish. It is named after one of the founders' hometown in Spain. With help from my family and the interweb we traced my Father's ancestors to the Iberian Peninsula of Spain.
I traced the origin of his surname to pre Christian Rome. It came from the Latin word for thorn. My first name is Carmel, it's Hebrew for garden. I'm Thorn Garden, pleased to meet you!
My parents were Mexican by birth and Americans by choice. They came to our country in the 70s, became citizens some years later.
This is the best country in the whole world and I love it. If you don't agree you can go out in a field and sit on it! Whenever asked what I am, I'll always proudly proclaim American!
A few weeks back a customer asked me, what are you? American I said. Well you look Mexican but you talk like a white girl. Oh yeah, well you look like a jackass! Didn't say that aloud but I thought it really really hard!
I shared this with my friend (in the picture) today. She's a born and raised Mexican with light brown hair and green eyes! Not Mexican looking at all!
She agreed, I do indeed talk like a white girl. This is what she said; when I first met you I was confused. You're a tall butch, Mexican / Hawaiian looking girl with tattoos but when you talk you sound like a super girly middle class white girl.
$%#@ ,The only labels that are any good are on food. Leave that shit off of me!
Now I understand that there's such a thing as regional accents but what does the hell does it mean to talk like a white girl?
I need your thoughts on this. I know this could lead to the sensitive subject of race but rest assured I hate you all equally.

Boobs and Booze, my search for Maria

Last night's plans consisted of staying home playing Lego Star Wars and sleeping early. You know what they say about the best laid out plans...

Instead I found myself at Pt's Pub with a bunch of dudes many (5) years my juniors. God damn that was fun. Word to the wise do not arm wrestle a drunk girl with something to prove she bites :)

A few hours of drinking later, we made our way to The Library. The infamous strip club were Grrouchie met his girlfriend Maria. Although it was years ago I was curious to see if she was still there maybe compare notes. Alas I did not find Maria maybe she isn't even real!

There were boobs, booze and bad odors. What else can I really say it's a sleezy old strip club. Oh, there was a weird dead buck head on the wall! The company was great, I love my boys.

Hookers hookers everywhere but not a drop to...eww nevermind.  The Library is on Boulder Hwy, I found were the wild things are because everywhere I looked there was a hooker.

You may wonder how I knew they were hookers after all this is Las Vegas it's almost prerequisite for girls to dress slutty. I have had some schooling in the last few days, not from Rob but YouTube.

There's a channel called Johntv. This man, Brad or something lives in OKC, he spends his free time stalking/video taping hookers. He waits for them to be picked up follows the couple.Let's them get down to business ambushes them and video tapes! He usually tries to call the cops for back up. He claims to be cleaning up the streets by shaming these people straight. I think he is a pervert that gets a kick out of it. One thing is for sure, it is fucking hilairious! So Grrouchie Waffles or anyone else interested in how to spot a hooker check out this YouTube channel.
 
I forgot to mention the best part of the night-

On my way home, I stopped at the gas station for some provisions, two monsters and snowballs. As I'm checking out this really cute white girl with a country accent walks in singing. The clerk greets her asks how she's doing. The girl says " I'm drunk as fuck! I was trying to Cupid shuffle. I couldn't do it so I decided to grab a cigar." She asked us if we were able to Cupid shuffle. Told her I've never even heard of it, the clerk said she did.

Drunk girl convinced this very friendly female clerk to show her. So here we are a white girl, a black girl and a brown girl in the middle of the gas station at 4 am attempting to Cupid shuffle! I even took off my shoes because I was afraid to twist my ankle. Drunk girl and I left at the same time she invited me over to the bar next door . Well hell to the yeah, let's go Barbie!

This is one of the biggest reasons I haven't left Las Vegas. It's hard to imagine this kind of stuff happening in any other town!

To my Anonymous reader, I am seriously pondering your topic for a post. I want it to be meaningful. Just know I'm working on it.

Lost and Found

Found!

My Sister in law found my keys in her car! The main reason I wanted those keys is because of the Freddie Mercury keychain. A now deceased friend from high school gave it to me 12 years ago. I'm beyond thrilled to have it back.

Napkin holder

Recently I asked Duggle about a funny little cookie jar he has in his kitchen. See I'm a fan of the absurd, recently I started a collection of odd knick knacks. I also have a cookie jar shaped like an Oreo with the word "BOB" on it. Some way some how I'm getting Duggle's jar.

Salt pepper shakers

The months following our breakup I lost myself. It's been difficult putting back the pieces but I have started to find my groove. In celebration, your girl here has a date this weekend. He's hot to with dimples!

To those of you with hair, may you have a great hair day and may all our asses' look nice and tight in our pants.

This one's for the homies

Josie is the short one

 I wanted to take some time to say a big wet THANK YOU very much to Sammi,Mr, Prosk, the original Josephine, Linda Lou and my dearest-the best ex fiance-kinda friend a girl could ever ask for Grrouchie. You have all decided for whatever reason to follow my bloggy blog. That is as awesome as you are. Yes, you, awesome! Even if you haven't followed thanks for reading. Old Grrouch I suspect has followed because I give good head. The rest of you I don't know. I'll assume you are kinda drunk kinda bored and totally badass. This is more enjoyable than I could ever have imagined.

I have a question forMr. Prosk, have you ever heard of the Vinyl Cafe? Am I the only person in the world that listens Canadian public radio?

Moscato, refreshing

Since I don't drink beer I'm toasting some Lambrusco and Moscato to you all!

Gary big wet kiss for you to!

Monday came on Wednesday

Mondays are crap, mine came on Wednesday. Rough start by being two hours late to work! Instead of pushing snooze I hit dismiss in the alarm!! I walk in the door my boss says, " You must've been having a good dream. Hehe."  "Yeah, I was. About sex, when I was done I killed you." He shut up real quick. I was indeed dreaming of sex and violence. Don't worry folks he likes being sexually harassed.

Maybe he was looking at my tattoo?

They're supposed to be asymmetrical 

In much need of some comfort food, I drove a few miles down the road for a burrito. There I sat reading Water For Elephants, eating minding my business and this guy would not stop starring at me!  I get it, I'm odd looking. I'm a big bitch. I have a funny hair cut, I have very visible very big tattoos but come the fuck on!

When I went to get my drink refilled this guy approaches and starts to hit on me...ugh. "You're pretty." "Are you married?" "Have kids?"  As nicely as I could I rebuffed him but he wouldn't stop. He even followed me to my car trying to talk to me! Big ups to him for his persistence. Got in the car ASAP to avoid unpleasantness.

See last week I found myself with a friend at another Mexican dive in a very seedy part of town. Somewhere driving isn't recommended at night. She picked a table while I grabbed the food. Heading her way, she loudly tells me to watch my step because another patron just SPIT on the floor! Gross.  


In drunk guy universe this was a challenge because a few minutes later he starts hollering " THOSE BITCHES ARE SO LOUD I CAN'T READ MY PAPER IN PEACE! I CAN'T HEAR MYSELF THINK!" My stupidass friend decide engage with said moron! Arguing and name calling back and forth.

The staff got involved. My friend starts taddling on him! He spit on the floor. He yelled at me . He took my toy. Blah blah blah. Thankfully the staff did the right thing by asking them both to stop or leave. All the while I'm just trying to eat my tacos, all I wanted was a taco!

He didn't stop. He got louder, more crude and rude. I finally had it! This day I was wearing some 6" heels making me about 6'2", I'm about 250.  I don't know about you but if I've got a linebacker, with murder on their face coming right at me I get uncomfortable.

I got in his face. I told him the coolest calmest way I possibly could, " I will punch you in the motherfucking bald spot if you don't leave us the fuck alone." Lucky for us both he left shortly after. Poor guy. If my dumbass friend had kept her god damn corn shute shut we all could've had a nice peaceful meal . God damn girls!

Really I'm nice. Pearls=nice and sweet

In hindsight it was dumb but he was a jerk and he was harassing us. Once I did get into a physical altercation with a man, not my fault! I'll tell you about later.

I digress, after lunch my boss calls me into office. She tells me to expect an inordinate amount of work because we need to comply with new regulations from the Department of Weights and Measure. She went to say I'll be provided assistance because I suck and she has no faith in my work or abilities to get us a passing grade in our upcoming audit. Or something like that.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it!