The Day the Music Died

My first real relationship was in high school with a big beautiful white boy,D.B. He was everything I wanted in a guy at the time. Good looking, funny, smart with just a touch of asshole for color. He played the drums in a rock band  even had a truck.

We broke all sorts of laws together. Underage drinking and driving, vandalism, drugs you name it we did it. We even had some wholesome redneck fun hunting, camping, shooting. He bought me my first shotgun, how could I not be in love.?!

Young love met it's end when his Dad got a job in St. George, Utah moving the entire family up there. I was devastated. In my mind we were going to college together getting married and be dysfunctional ever after.

If you have ever been or met a teenage girl then I'm sure you'll understand how fucking insane they are. That was me, to the power of ten. Crying, writing him letters, sending post cards, poems all that shit.

The only thing that brought any kind of relief from my heart ache was a cocktail of booze, painkillers, and Patsy Cline. I don't know what it's like in other places but in Las Vegas you can get anything you as long as you have money.  I had easy access to it all and took FULL advantage.

Patsy was "singing my life" with her words.The passion and pain in her voice spoke to me. For the first time I felt understood.

People say marijuana is the gateway to other drugs but no one ever says Patsy Cline is the gateway to country music! From her I moved onto Merle Haggard, Willie Nelson, Hank Williams. After years of kinship with Country and Western, I found the blues then jazz.

Before I knew it I was in love again but not with one person but with many many wonderfully talented timeless geniuses. These artists spoke to me through time and space on a level I didn't even know exsisted.

Music has been my constant companion through the toughest and the greatest times of my life.
Until now I have been able to find comfort in an artist who has shared a bit of my experience.

Today I put on some Patsy. The songs haven't changed, the music hasn't changed but I felt nothing. Not Patsy,not Ella, not Ray or even Elvis has been able to lift my spirit today. All I want is to "Stop the world and let me off."